My boyfriend is travelling for work this summer for a month, leaving me alone in London. I wonder now if all this exercise I’ve been doing recently (gym, running, swimming) is in preparation for these weeks of freedom.
My plan now is to visit the Green House Sauna in Luton when he’s away instead of travelling all the way to Leeds for the Basement Complex Sauna. Yes, I know it sounds a bit silly but… I know too many gay guys in London! I just know that – knowing my luck – I’d run into one of them if I went to Chariots or the Pleasuredrome. Then we’d either pretend we didn’t see each other or we’d have awkward small talk. That’s not to say I’ll never visit these places (I’d really like to see what they’re like – especially The Vault, which I’ve been reading a lot about recently) but I need an inbetween sauna first that is a little out of the way. The Green House in Luton seems a good compromise.
My boyfriend has been exercising a lot too and our sex lives has improved tons. The both of us are suddenly horny all the time and feeling good again after a winter of mostly sitting around, of lethargy. But the truth is that I also think about other guys. I see them at the gym, I see them staring at me on public transport, I chat with them online – I could even have met a couple recently (but didn’t have anywhere to accomodate them.) I want to feel their skins, kiss them, hold them. I want to feel another guy in my arms.
I would love to share this blog with my boyfriend and be 100% honest with him. I’d love to say to him: “let’s go to a sauna or cruise club and find a guy for you to fuck.” But that’s not how our relationship was built and I don’t know how to broach it.
(We have talked a few times in the past about an open relationship, and he gave me permission to sleep with other guys “as long as I was safe” but it now feels like too much time has gone by and that “contract” needs to be revisited and renewed.)
Something else I want to do soon: get a full check up. Have all the tests, make sure I’m healthy and OK. I was researching recently STDs and I remembered this one guy I gave a blow job at my gym 4 years ago. Soon after that blowjob I got a small blister/ulcer on the roof of my mouth, and it took a good week or two for it to disappear. At the time I wondered if I’d caught herpes from him, or something like that, but my Google searches didn’t cough up anything. So I just put it down to a coincidence – to a cold sore – and didn’t think of it anymore after I went back to normal.
But reading about gonorrhea, I wonder if I caught the oral variety from him. It never ressurfaced but I want to get checked up anyway and make sure I get treatment if I need it. If I still have gonorrhea, I’ll need to tell my boyfriend about it (in which case, he may have noticed something in himself but not told me anything about…)
Anyway… the most sensible thing would be for my boyfriend to know everything – for us to be on the same page, happy and safe.