I’ve started telling my friends about my boyfriend and mine’s decision to open the relationship. Most of them were surprised – they were so used to thinking of us as the perfect monogamous gay couple. The poster children of gay happiness. But we are still happy, I told some of them, only we realize that our sex life has slowed down and that it might be interesting to add spice to it by including others.
One of my friends – a brazilian guy who has been searching for love for quite some time – quizzed me on it and seemed slightly disappointed. He recently fell in love with a boy who is in an open relationship. He said this boy had started just like us – trying a little bit of everything on the side – but soon things got out of control and now he was an active member of London’s sex clubs (with his boyfriend’s full consent.) My brazilian friend wondered if this would happen to me and my boyfriend too – the implication being that we could soon lose control of who our partner sleeps with. I’d like to think that we are different, that we spent ten years in a monogamous relationship and, therefore, have slightly different personalities when it comes to casual sex.
At the moment, if feels weird to think that I might sleep with someone other than my boyfriend.
London has been struck by a heatwave this past week. There is so much flesh exposed, so many eyes that follow each other when paths meet, so many possibilities both in nightclubs and dark alleys. Condom use and orgasms shot through the roof in the last few days. Baby boom in nine months.
I’ve been thinking about putting effort again into sex with my boyfriend – adding sensuality, porn films, massages… anything to get things going and bring us back to our intimacy. The opportunity to have sex with strangers is a beautiful fantasy that can’t match what we have already.