I went on a date on Valentine’s Day – a first for me. He claimed on Scruff to be a Dom Top. On paper, he seemed perfect: tall, into the same music as me, funny, older, ginger beard, big boned, big boner. But the guy I met in a gay pub downtown was the complete opposite: soft-spoken, chronically shy and chronically ill. Lovely, lovely person, but I felt zero attraction to him. I think it was his timidity that turned me off.
I was left with two choices: leave my freshly bought pint behind and run away, or chat with him and try to make the most of the evening. So I stayed and we ended up getting along, like new friends, and I even snogged him (he did smell nice and was cuddly in his own gentle way). However, I promised myself on my walk home that I wouldn’t use hook up apps anymore. Guys invariably turned out to be completely different from what they portrayed online.
I spent the day after my first visit to Vault 139 lying around the flat, reflecting on that adventure, feeling too lazy to brave the cold outside. My boyfriend was spending the weekend with his new lover and I was all alone. Before I knew it, I was back on the apps, chatting to guys.
One Australian guy based in West London woofed at me on Scruff. We were both horny and up for meeting up in the evening. We talked about going somewhere first for a beer, then heading to XXL club together (a place I’d never been to but would be keen to check out.) I told him I’d been to the Vault the night before and he suggested we meet there first and go from there. We agreed we’d meet by the bar at 8.30pm.
I took a long, relaxing bath and meditated. I sent out good vibes to everyone in the Vault – I wanted to return to that cruise bar with a different set of eyes, give it a second chance, and not feel judgement towards anyone in there. I then douched and took my PrEP.
As I was temporarily staying in King’s Cross, I decided to swing by the gay pub Central Station on my way to the Vault, to check how busy it was. As I walked the streets, I felt free in a way I hadn’t felt before in a long time. It was the kind of freedom that some people feel when they go to the cinema by themselves, where they populate their time with enjoyable things just for themselves – where they are not afraid of being alone. Here I was, open to the night ahead, with no fixed time on when I had to be home.
Central Station was empty, so I kept walking. Just before I walked down the Vault’s steps, I checked Scruff. The Australian guy was showing as 5km away. I went in and sat by the bar, sipping on a can of beer, watching the guys, watching the porn, and waiting for him to arrive.
The vibe in the bar was completely different from the night before. There were more guys around, and better looking ones too. A DJ played more fun music – Madonna and Lady Gaga remixes. I went to the bathroom and took a piss. A skinhead chatted to me by the urinals and later kept looking at me at the bar. Then a tall, skinny guy in his 20s sat nearby and caught my attention. Tousled black hair, baggy trousers and T-shirt: he looked like a straight guy who had wandered in by mistake. He was fidgety and soon went off to cruise the corridors.
Half-an-hour went by and the Australian didn’t show up. I decided he’d stood me up and there was no harm in me going to check out the action. I saw a short rugby player type with a handsome face, trying to join the action in the main play area; I saw a tall, big black guy with a baseball cap, who I’m sure I’ve seen before in the Carnaby Street toilets; I saw muscular guys in their 30s hooking up; I saw a guy in his 80s, shuffling around in a very delicate manner; I saw the usual types of guys you see in cruisy toilets.
Near the end of the corridor with all the salon-style alcoves, I spotted the young Tousled Black Hair guy from the bar with another guy in his 20s, also quite fit, with short dark hair and a handsome face, in a white T-shirt. They briefly kissed and Tousled Black Hair gestured for them to go inside the last salon-style alcove. As the salon-style doors offer no privacy, it was easy for me to stand just outside, looking in at them. I watched them kiss, then the young guy in the white T-shirt suck Tousled Black Hair’s cock. Very quickly, he turned around and bent over so Tousled Black Hair could slide inside his ass.
Very suddenly, Tousled Black Hair pulled out, pulled up his baggy trousers and left. White T-shirt boy dressed up quickly and followed him, maybe just as disconcerted as us the audience as to why it had suddenly stopped. When White T-shirt boy returned, I brazenly went up to him and asked if he’d let me suck his cock. “No,” he replied.
I moved away quickly, back into the main orgy space, and focused my attention on what was happening there (which was similar to the night before, with a mixture of guys sucking or getting sucked, and others watching.) After a while, I was back outside the last alcove, watching the porn on the TV just above it. A tall, fit daddy with cropped silver hair and a smooth face then joined me by the TV. He was in his fifties but I could see he had a jock’s body. I smiled at him and he smiled back, and so I gestured at the alcove. He agreed and we went inside together.
I went straight down on my knees as he unzipped and pulled down his trousers. His cock was already hard, lying sideways in his y-fronts. A juicy, thick cock, about 8 inches long. I started licking and sucking it through the fabric until he pulled it out and fed it to me. It was a thing of beauty and I was suddenly in heaven sucking it, licking it, and running my tongue around his shaved balls.
He lay down on the leather bed as I continued to suck him. I then started noticing tons of pre-cum coming out. I told him so and he smiled: “yeah, there’s lots of pre-cum for you.” He pulled forward the foreskin and made me lick it, play with it, suck the pre-cum that kept coming. But then, all too quickly, he stood up and pulled his trousers up.
“Thanks for that,” he said. I stood up as well and sat on the bed, and then patted his ass as he left. I instinctively knew he had just arrived at the venue and wasn’t ready to blow his load (later, it again made me think how “taking a load” in these places is a sort of badge of honour, because it means you got the load that other guys worked for, like me, but didn’t get to enjoy.)
There were two guys standing outside who had been watching me suck the daddy’s dick. One of them was Tousled Black Hair. I gestured with my finger for him to come in, and he did. He unzipped his trousers and pulled a flaccid monster from his boxer shorts. I took his cock and started sucking… and I tasted White T-shirt boy’s ass! (Later, I would also savour this irony that I had tasted his ass even if I hadn’t been allowed to taste his cock.)
As I worked on Tousled Black Hair’s cock and tried to get it hard, I ran one of my hands up his smooth, flat chest. He was all limbs and smooth skin, like a giant boy. As his cock started to grow in my mouth (and it would grow into an impressive 9 inch monster), he pulled a little bottle out of his trousers and sniffed it.
“Do you want some?” he offered, and I took the bottle of poppers.
I’d only done poppers once before, when I was sitting with friends in a bar in Brazil, and one of them offered for me to try it with him. The high had been impressive, but quick.
I sniffed from his bottle, returned it to him and went back to sucking his cock. Suddenly, nothing else existed in the universe except his body and mine. My mouth on his cock. Him fucking my face. The intensity between us. My hand running across his warm stomach. The music outside. The taste, the smell of him. It was an amazing experience, a full bones and meat connection.
Then it was over, his cock was hard in my mouth, and he was pulling it out, slapping my face and my lips with it, grabbing my head. Then, like the daddy before him, he suddenly pulled his trousers up. Now he was going to go off and find others to play with – until someone eventually “won the load”.
“You have an amazing cock,” I said.
“And you are an amazing cocksucker,” he replied before disappearing down the corridor.
Feeling more relaxed with the environment, I now wandered easily past the guys and casually watched what they were up to. White T-shirt boy and Tousled Black Hair got back together in the main orgy room, then separated; then later I spotted them together again, then separated… it was a dance they played while I was there, to the point that White T-shirt boy wouldn’t bother putting his cock inside his trousers – he walked everywhere with his erection sticking out and with a longing look on his face… a longing for Tousled Black Hair, I think.
Meanwhile, the fit daddy was in the middle of an orgy in the main room, with different guys taking turns on his cock. I noticed a guy come in and join us, slightly shorter than me, t-shirt that showed some muscles and a slight beer gut. He looked back at me and I could tell in the semi-darkness he had a nice beard and handsome face.
A bit later, back at the last alcove under the TV porn, leaning against the wall, I was joined by someone: it was the recently-arrived bear. Again, I gestured with my head at the alcove. Again, I received a smile and a consenting nod.
This time, it was a case of grabbing each other and kissing. Of pulling each other’s T-shirts off, licking each other’s nipples, grabbing each other’s asses and cocks through trousers – then the trousers coming off and each taking turns to lean down and swallow the other’s cocks (his was just slightly larger than mine, about 6 inches.)
“What’s your name? Where are you from?” he asked. I told him and he said his name was Andy and he lived just outside London. He was not only fun to play with, he also seemed like a nice guy.
Meanwhile, a little audience had grown outside. One of the guys watching was Tousled Black Hair.
Andy and I stood naked, side by side, in full view of these voyeurs. Andy went to town on my cock until the point when I warned him I was about to cum. He worked harder on my cock until a massive orgasm ran through me. I couldn’t help but grunt loudly as I shot all my cum down his throat.
“That was a massive load,” Andy said, slightly in awe. I was now completely drained and relaxed. I gave him a kiss and we put our clothes back on. There was no need for me to deal with Andy’s load; it was silently acknowledged that he’d go back out there and find someone to take care of him.
And indeed he did, not much longer, in the orgy room. I watched him from afar get a blowjob; when he saw me looking, he smiled and poked his tongue out. I reciprocated. (Thinking back, I should have probably gone up to him and kissed him while he received his blowjob… next time.)
Only an hour and a half had passed by the time I left the Vault. It felt like longer. I went by Central Station again on my way home and this time there was disco music, people on the dance floor, people playing pool in the back, people outside having a cigarette. I popped inside for a nightcap pint and stood by the bar, revelling in the pub’s party vibes, revelling on the nice adventure I’d just had.